Short and Sweet

I haven't been on for a while due to a wretched thing called mono. I wound up at the medical center yesterday because of it. I'm nowhere close to being better yet (traveling was brutal today) but I'm well enough to do this. I miss writing without a grade attached. So with that said, lately I've had an interest in bridesmaid dresses. I have found my top 3, they all fit the theme "simply elegant' which is what I want.

Top 1 dress
Top 2 dress
Top 3 dress

I am still a girl with dreams....I want to meet my prince charming or if I already have I want to know which one he is. Marriage, although I talk about not getting married yet is still very much a part of my future, just not today and probably not tomorrow. My point is, that it will happen at the utmost perfect moment. My human desires don't compare to God's wants/desires for me. That is why I am okay with waiting, he doesn't want me to focus on that part of my life right now and I know that. Where he wants my focus right now is with children who need help and my academics. 

The reason I'm talking about marriage and jobs (as usual) is because in the airport today a woman sittning next to me was talking to her best friend on the phone. This woman has children and a husband; a whole life back at home and she is going in for a potentially fatal heart surgery tomorrow. The thing with open heart surgery is that the doctors have to stop your heart in order to work on it but if they stop it, they have to restart it. Sometimes, they can't restart people's hearts, for whatever reason, so they die. My mom told me that when my brother had open heart surgery, the doctors had a hard time starting his heart again. He had this surgery when he was only a few months old......you want to talk about how precious life is? There was also a man on a plane (not mine) who was expecting today to be a normal travel day, only to find out that he would hold up an entire flight so he could be taken away by the paramedics. Oh and how about the guy I saw on TV today who was a heavy drug addict and had a heart attack because of it....

I guess these things really make me look hard at what I'm doing everyday. Yes, I get on average 4-5 hours of sleep a night and consider "zombie" as a main characteristic to describe myself. I wear myself so thin to the point where I get stuck in situations like I'm in right now, having mono and not slowing down to give my body a chance to fight it off. I spend 3-4 hours everyday except Wednesday and Friday at the library; Saturday could be 6 hours depending on if I have other obligations or not. But I'm doing something, it counts and I'm working towards my dreams which is all that really matters. I have an amazing family and great friends in North Carolina and home that push me the extra mile, even if I don't see all of them in person for the support. 

With all considered, I'm no where close to perfect. There is a great deal of heart felt joy I feel that you all are inspired by my optimism on life, but I do struggle. It's not like everyday I wake up and think 'I'm living my life to the fullest today' because that's not realistic. Of course when I get as sick as I am or I hear about someone who has a potentially lethal disease family or not, of course it kicks my butt in gear. But sometimes, I need extra encouragement from someone to tell me to try harder or do something different. I'm not always calm and mellow going through the struggles God puts in my life.....

There's more to say including a bible and sermon reference but I just don't have the energy and my temp is rising again. I promise I'll finnish this blog soon. Have a great Easter if you celebrate!