Everything I said yesterday except for the last paragraph and trusting God is....bullshit. My brother isn't responding to treatment. They are keeping him in the hospital longer and doubling his dose of antibiotics. They are not pleased with what his cut looks like today. I'm at my lowest point, the oldest of the three boys is an absolute, emotional wreck. I skipped one of my classes today because I couldn't stop crying. These stupid, pointless Facebook statuses complaining about homework, relationships, and sports piss me off. If my brother survives this, I don't think I could post another status about pointless crap. I've done it lately and I don't plan on doing it again.
I didn't think life could be anymore pronounced than it has been but apparently I was wrong. As in, I have a guy I'm hopelessly in love with. But none of that matters. If it's not going anywhere I don't care about wishful thinking. I got caught up like college girls do on a boy and I'm totally regretting it.
So back to my brother.....today is a really hard day. Not one part of me is optimistic. And being alone right now is my worst enemy. I cannot post this blog with words of encouragement at the end like I always do. Today it's your day to offer some encouragement, not necessarily to me but towards your own lives.
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