The love of family shouldn't be taken for granted

Last night was one of the most beautiful nights I've witnessed in a long time. I was placed in the very front, at the beginning of the red carpet where I had the incredible privilege of greeting the guests of Joy Prom 2013 first hand. I clapped for an hour and a half straight and gave out more high fives than I can keep track of; making my hands go numb; and woke up with no voice today but it was totally worth it. Just seeing their eyes light up when they walked down that red carpet, you knew that that they knew this was their night. Some would walk down that carpet like they owned the place and some would timidly place one foot in front of the other unsure of the possibilities awaiting them at the end. Some of them would look right at me and as if my smile wasn't wide enough I managed to smile even bigger for them. You can't help but be excited for them, I cannot describe it. That's why I'm having such a difficult time writing this post. Usually I can describe a scene right down to the scent but what I experienced last night, purely a work of God, is truly indescribable.

But with every miracle there is tragedy. I was talking on the phone with my mom today, telling her about Joy Prom and I was describing one of the guests who was in a wheelchair and my mind automatically flipped to this boy in foster care. Instead of the guest I was describing to my mom, the image was of this boy, all dressed up and at Joy Prom. I almost dropped the phone and started crying. I will not release this boy's name for the sake of security. This boy has been in foster care since I can remember, he was there when my family found the newest edition to our family and I believe my other brother as well. This whole thing started about a week ago, one night I couldn't fall asleep and I had decided to check the heart gallery back in my home state to see who was still up for adoption and what the new editions were. My heart dropped seeing so many familiar faces. The same children that were available 10 years ago were still available. Talk about a tragedy. Gosh I don't like thinking about what life would be like without my family but many of these children haven't been able to experience that love.

Anyways, this boy I've mentioned has both cognitive and physical disabilities. In addition, I found out that he was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. He's 17 years old right now and I'm pretty sure he's been in foster care most of his life. It's difficult for these children to be placed since there's a known chance that they may not survive. I don't blame anyone for that, it's human instinct to shy away from loss and grief. Unfortunately for this boy, it may mean the difference between finding a family or not. Since he's 17 he's only got one year left in foster care. I'm not sure what happens to adults who do not have a family. Hopefully the state has worked out some type of support for them; my guess would be a group home. God forbid he get sent to a nursing home....

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm writing about someone I don't know and where I'm going with all of this. Well, so am I. I just knew I had to write tonight; I don't have all of the answers and I cannot figure out why this boy has become so significant. But every time I think about him, I cry. I am somewhat of an emotional individual but I wouldn't say that I'm easily upset. Sure, I may only shed a few tears for about a minute but every time? Evidently I'm not seeing the whole picture here. Nonetheless, this boy has become an important part of my life. Suddenly, the work I'm doing for children is not only for them and my brothers but for this boy in particular. I feel that God has put him on my heart so that I would pray for him and I am, every day. I'm not exactly sure what to pray for so I say it all; the love of a family, happiness, his health, and the guidance/care of God every day.

It's a harsh reality but I know I cannot save them all. In the field of work I'm going into, I cannot save every child. I'd like to think I could rid this world of children suffering but I know that I alone and in my lifetime cannot accomplish such a challenging and impossible task. Maybe I'm thinking to much (it's been known to happen). No matter what I do, there will always be someone left behind. Not the usual optimistic twist I put on life but it's something to think about. I don't know this boy at all. Never met him in my life, the only way I know what I do is through the file online about him. Yet, he means so much to me...all I want for him is to know the love of a family! He's been through so much and has not been given a family. I realize people have different crosses and this could be a blessing in disguise but I have yet to see the silver lining. Part of me wants to cry because of his circumstances and part of me wants to smile because he must have so much love from God to make up for no family.

With all said, this boy has prompted me to do something (still haven't figured out how I'm going to do it yet). Although, I'm not sure it's (so to speak) on time to help him. This boy and so many other children (including my brothers) are certainly the main influence for this but it's the children who follow in their footsteps that will experience change, for lack of a better word. I suppose this is where the saying "God works in mysterious ways" comes into play. This boy and so many other children I've met in the hospital while my brother was a patient just need to be loved. Even a letter from someone could mean the world to them.

Update

Thank you all for your support and prayers. I have been dealing with the death of someone very near and dear to my heart this past week. I just got back from New York today and will be getting back to this blog this weekend. I have missed writing a great deal! ~Celeste Anne